Learning to Trust When Dating

There is usually a reason when you meet someone new or agree to meet them. Sometimes it is because you need something from these people such as a favor or you simply find it to be fun with them. Maybe you are seeking a new career opportunity. It might be speed dating night and you hope you will meet someone who will suddenly fall in love with you for the person you are.

What you probably ignore when you decide to jump into that sea of dating, whether it is speed dating, blind dating or online dating, all of you seem to have trust in a very limited amount while holding onto a huge amount of protection and barriers. The reasons for these trust issues tend to relate to previous negative dating experiences that you cannot help but carry with you. Even if you are staring at a shiny new gorgeous man standing right in front of you giving you a sexy smile.

While it may be difficult, you can meet new people who are not like those people you could not previously trust. Get used to meeting and mingling with new people. You cannot slip into an ideal dating situation as long as you continue to feel anxious, nervous, and blush while acting like a jerk. This just makes people uncomfortable and feel as if you think you are superior to them. Following are the three vital steps in learning to trust people and assist you in improving your dating process.

  • Learn to build relationships no matter who the person is.

Everyone is totally spoiled lately when it comes to gaining instant gratification. If you are hungry, you eat someone right then. If you are tired, you take a nap without even thinking about it. When you feel unloved, you head to the internet to find out how many men you can attract.

That is all great and wonderful for shopping and social media where everything has a typical immediate response. On the other hand, relationships are a lot different. It takes patience, time, determination and understanding someone else’s point of view. Most important of all, you need to accept that it is fine for someone else to have a different perspective to you.

Now, where should you start? What about your friends and family? When is the last time you have seen them? Did you pay attention to their stories, complaints or issues? Were you happy to be a part of their world? If you do not want to take the time to involve your energy and time in the lives of others, why would they want to do the same for you? After all, fair is fair.

  • Learn to enjoy the company of a stranger.

It might sound like a simple thing to do, but people are so tightly wound in their lives and the way they live them that change is a bit difficult. In fact, they typically have such rigid schedules that they do not go anywhere that will allow them to meet someone new. If they do go out, it is usually with close friends. When you continue things this way, how will you ever meet someone new?

The simplest way is to add something new to your schedule that will put you in the company of strangers. Try signing up for a class in something that you are interested in learning how to do. Some ideas are writing, photography, wine tasting and, possibly, something to do with music or acting. If you are in the company of strangers with your same interests, there is an excellent chance of meeting someone promising and exciting.

  • Learn to enjoy the company of the opposite gender, no matter what your preference of sexual gender.


Step three is intensely important because any future dates you have will come with friends, sisters, and brothers. You will want to be polite to them while also feeling comfortable around them.


In this step, you must use your imagination. Again, you can use the part about taking classes only this time is a bit different. You will sign up for something where you will definitely meet people of the opposite gender. For example, take a class of some sport activity. Most women like such things as book clubs, drawing classes, cooking classes, art classes, and running clubs. They also enjoy writing, photography, yoga, and wine tasting. On the other hand, guys tend to like snowboarding and skiing, paintballing, music producing, cycling, bouldering, poker, fishing, beer brewing, sailing and investing.


This will allow you to be more gender balanced so you can have a great chance to meet    someone special.  If you have successfully finished all of these steps, you might just be enjoying your third date by now.


Seven Important Dating Lessons to Know During Bank Holiday

Many people enter into dating with a rather naïve attitude towards the experience. They are so trusting of the people they date that it is always a shock for them to discover that it was all a lie. Following are seven dating lessons that you need to know to become a dating expert.

  • If someone keeps flaking on you and says they are too busy, then they are not serious about you.


One important thing that you should always remember is that if someone really likes you, they will make the time to spend with you. When they keep making excuses, that means they do not really care about you. No one is too busy to come up with five minutes during the day to text you. Even if they happen to be sincerely that busy, a person who truly cares about you will apprise you of their situation rather than string you along with half-ass dating and rarely contacting you. The point is that if you are not important enough to rate a three to five minute phone call out of 24 hours, they do not really care about you and it is time to kick them to the curb. Why waste your time on someone who does not deserve it?


  • People treat you the way you allow them to.


Have you ever dated an older man who works a lot? If so, you may have noticed that he typically would cut short your date, plan all activities around his schedule, and may have even blamed you if something did not go right between the two of you. If this happened to you, why did you stay with him after the first time he tried to lord things over you? It is ok if you did because what usually happens is that women make excuses for his rude actions along with simply ignoring all of the red flags that went up around this man. You may have even started to doubt yourself and believe that you were the one in the wrong. Actually, the only thing you might have done wrong is not stand up for yourself often enough. This man can only treat you badly if you allow him to do so. He probably knew that you would tolerate his rude actions. Do not waste your time on men like these. They will hold you back and keep you unhappy.


  • When someone tells you something about themselves; believe what they say.

“I’m just an average guy.” “I really do not do well with dating.” “I’m so busy these days, I probably won’t have time to devote to a relationship.”  When they say it, they know it. Putting you off is not something they care about. So if someone tells you these things, believe them and run away as fast as you can. That is, unless you just want a one night stand. Then go for it and leave.


  • If a guy shows you that he does not care, then he truly does not care about you.


Many women date guys that do not treat them in the best way. In fact, they might just suddenly vanish on you, leaving you to wonder what you did wrong. Then, when these men reappear, they treat you horrible and you feel as if he is just covering up his genuine feelings for you. That way of thinking could not be more wrong. If a man is mean to you, it means that he does not care about you at all. Besides, you might have already decided that if a man really likes you, he would not have disappeared in the first place. You may remember your parents telling you that actions speak louder than words. They were not wrong. Actions are what mean the most. Look closely at how a guy treats you. His actions will tell you everything you need to know.


  • Drinking too much alcohol on the first few dates is a bad idea.


Typically, when there is too much alcohol involved on a date, it will probably lead to sex. You might even drunkenly signal that you are fine with being a sex buddy without realizing what you are doing. When you drink too much, you will most likely lose control of your actions and end up with disastrous results. Usually, when you have a few first dates, you want to keep them short with lighthearted fun. When both people are sober, they can reliably get a fair view of each other.


  • Be honest and up front regarding your expectations and things will be much simpler.


If both of you know what the expectations of the relationship are, then you can see if you are both on the same page. You will not have to worry about leading anyone on because you have been honest with your intentions. If your communication has been clear, you will either have the relationship you want, or you can both go your separate ways with no hard feelings.


  • If you are not getting what you need in a romantic relationship, you need to change things.


Think of life as a huge experiment. When you show yourself to be different, people will act differently to you. To get what you want, you cannot keep doing things the same way. You need to look at what you might be doing wrong or where you can make changes. If you continue to do the same things repeatedly, you will never find that ideal relationship. Keep in mind that you will still make mistakes from time to time. That is actually a good thing, though, because it will remind you of the mistakes you made in the past

The best advice to follow when you are dating and trying to find a loving relationship is to be positive. Move forward and do not hold on to the past. You will find the “Right One” when the time is right.


My advice is that, be positive, stop crying over spilt milk and think about what could be done instead. Finally, embrace yourself. At. All. Time.